O Canada




Treaty 7


Kainaiwa - Blood Tribe



Siksika Na.


4th Moon of Happiness

Key: Personal Control & Power

"A good intention covers itself with power."
--Ralph Waldo Emerson

"He is most powerful who has power over himself."
---Seneca, Epistulae ad Lucilium


Common sense tells us that it is better to be in control than to feel out of control, lost and chaotic. But is this really important for happiness? Considerable psychological research would suggest that it is. We have known for years that people who have many stressful life changes tend to get sick more often. But some who have the same life changes don't get sick. University of Chicago researchers, Kobassa and Maddi tried to find out why some stay well and others succumb to illness under the same difficult life conditions. They identified three personality traits of healthy persons--challenge, commitment and control. The hardy individuals viewed change as a challenge rather than a catastrophe, were deeply committed to other individuals, causes and groups, and had a sense of personal control over their life destiny.

People who control their life from within rather than merely responding to forces from without tend to achieve more in school, cope better with stress, and report more happiness. In addition to being satisfied with oneself, personal control has been one of the best predictors of well-being. The importance of personal control has been seen even in animals. An "executive monkey" who has control over whether he received shocks had less stress than another monkey who received exactly the same number of shocks but had no control over the shocks. Monkeys who receive inescapable shocks become helpless and depressed. It is not so much the shock itself that causes stress and depression, but the sense of control versus helplessness. Prisoners and concentration camp victims are traumatized by the total lack of control in these settings. Soldiers fighting in battle certainly suffer, but they at least exert some control over life and death issues.

A clever study by Judith Rodin at Yale University varied the amount of personal control given to nursing home residents. She was shocked to find so many of the residents to be listless, depressive, and without any sense of purpose. In the study, one group of residents were given a plant and told that the plant was for their pleasure and would be cared for by the staff. The other group was given the same type of plant and told that it was for their pleasure and they would have the responsibility to care for it. The group that had responsibility and control over caring for the plant lived longer and reported fewer physical complaints!

Personal control is not just actually being in control. It is also the perception of being in control and the belief that we can have an effect on things around us. Stanford psychologist Albert Bandura has devoted much of his career to studying "self-efficacy", the belief one has in their ability to produce desired outcomes. If you learn to believe in your power to achieve you will be able to cope better with stress, avoid depression, stop smoking cigarettes. If you have low self-efficacy, you are likely to be a victim of negative self-fulfilling prophecies.

So stay in charge--of yourself and of what you can realistically control around you.

Pathways: Moderation

You are active in the life of your community, not primarily to change it but more to appreciate and preserve the best of what has been achieved. Insofar as change is sought, it must be made slowly so that cultural achievements are not lost. You seek the good things in life, but in an orderly way that avoids excess. Indulgence, vulgarity, and even great enthusiasm and desire are avoided. You value clarity, restraint, balance, discipline, predictability, and control. Happiness is found in an active, socially involved life that is ordered through restraint intelligence, and moderation. Your motto might be "Nothing in excess, moderation in all things," and you follow the middle path of Apollo and Confucius.

 Pathways: Reflective  Development

You tend to seek privacy, time for yourself, self-sufficiency. Control over your life is sought through reflection, meditation, and self- knowledge. You are less interested in associating with social groups or attempting to control the external environment. Desires that are dependent on things outside yourself should be avoided. Happiness can be found only within the self, so your goal is to clarify your self-direction and refine your inner world. Your motto might be, "Be yourself" and "It's all in the mind." Your main intellectual ancestors would be Buddha and Emerson.


The Forth Cycle of The Moon!

(From Wokini' by Billy Mills)



The Forth stick needed to fuel the Fire of Happiness! 

I will set new and interesting goals because I know it will make me happy.
As the suns set in the evening, I realize another day has gone. Yesterday has taught me lessons, given me experiences and has left my life forever. There is nothing I can do to get yesterday back. 
Tomorrow holds great promise for me. My future is in my own hands and there is so much to do to make it the kind of day I expect. It is the beginning of a new journey, one which will influence my life forever. Things will change tomorrow. I will act, speak, and think differently than I ever have. How will I know how to behave? How will I know where my journey takes me? The unknown can be frightening and I do not want to be afraid of tomorrow. How then can I stop this fear? I can stop it simply by setting new and interesting goals. These goals will be a map of my journey. They will allow me to lead my life with confidence. They will allow me to chart my progress toward anything I desire.

I will set new and interesting goals.

I can control my future through my actions of today. If I want to become successful, I know there is something I can do today to help me achieve my goal. If I want to be healthier in the future, I know my goal today is to take the first step toward that goal. Daily goals are important because I know I can never reach my future goals without actions of today. I know and understand that if I do not set daily goals, I will journey through life without a map. Without a map, I will be lost and I do not want to be lost. I want to walk with Api-Sto-To-Ki with confidence, and Api-Sto-To-Ki has given me a truth with which I lead my life. What is that truth? The truth is simple,one day there won't be a tomorrow. I will set goals today and work to achieve them, because one day I won't be able to begin them tomorrow. If I set daily goals, I will be happy.

I will also set long term goals. Without long term goals, my daily goals will have little effect on my life. I know that long term goals help me face the discouragement I feel when I do not meet my daily goals. Every failure in a daily goal teaches me something. This knowledge will accumulate over time and I will find that I have learned more from my failures than from my successes. This is why I do not fear failure or evaluate my performance on a daily basis. Just as a tree takes many years to grow strong, so must I grow strong slowly. Knowing these things help keep me happy.

I will set new and interesting goals.

While I understand that I set goals to reach a desired end, I also know and understand that the journey toward the goal is enjoyable. What successful man is not willing to speak with pride when he tells you what he has overcome to reach his goals? What exceptional athlete is not willing to tell you with pride about the thousands of hours of work before the victory? The hard work, the successes and failures all helped a person achieve their goals. I know and understand that goals are to be enjoyed while I work to achieve them, not only when I succeed. To be happy, I must set goals and understand that any failure has given me an obstacle. 

I will set new and interesting goals.

I will list the goals I have on a daily basis. I will list both long term and short term goals and make sure I understand what it takes to reach them. Then I will work toward achieving them. By doing so, I will be able to focus on improvement in my life. If I work to improve my life, I will be happy. Each time I reach a goal, I will quickly set another so I do not become lethargic. I understand and believe that lethargy is the seed of discontent in my life, while setting] working toward and reaching goals makes me feel good about my future. I will be happy because the goals I set do not allow me the time to dwell on negative.

In short, I will be happy if I set new and interesting goals.

Thank you, ApisTo-Too-Ki, for showing me this!!!



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